So this happened today…for reals. Was at the grocery this mornin’ looking at a bottle of wine, strictly for gift-giving purposes. Anyhooo, as I reached for an old standby, I hear this chipper, “Can I help you pick out six bottles of wine!?” I turn to see a friendly gal overly bedazzled with Christmas cheer. I make eye contact and she heads toward me. I ask, “Uhh, six bottles??” She said, “Oh yes, we’re having our wine sale! Buy six bottles and get 20% off.” I said, “Oh, good deal, I’ll check it out, thanks.” I proceed to reach for my one bottle and she says, “Ahhh, do you like that Fancy Pants wine?” I said, “I, uh, do, it’s not bad, I like a sweet wine….” She gets excited, “Ohhh, girl, have you seen the NEW Fifty Shades of Grey wine!!!?” Me, “Uhhh, nooo.” She continues, “Oh yes, it’s right over here, we have white and red!!” She jingled as she walked. A little uncomfortable I say, “Ohhh my, look at that! Well, I’ve not read the book, so…” She interrupts, “Me neither! I thought they were kinda gross. (chuckles) Guess I’m not kinky!” Slightly more uncomfortable, I hesitantly participate, “Yeeah, well me neither I guess, must be getting old…I’m more into Little House on the Prairie…” Interrupts again, “Besides, I’m just gonna be honest with ya! (I wish she wouldn’t, please don’t be honest…for the love of all things holy, do NOT be honest with me!) What if my husband sees me reading that stuff and starts to, ya know, get some ideas and expect something!?” She explodes into laughter aaand coupled with her bells it was quite the festive performance. I however, broke out in a nervous sweat and turned Fifty Shades of Red! Never bought six bottles of wine so fast in my life!

Merry, merry!