This post is for ladies only.  Gentleman, you’ve been warned.

Ahhh, Spanx.  Many a gal has sung her praises.  I’ve tried. I mean “engaged in cardiovascular contortion” tried. But, despite the damage done in pregnancy, I just work with what the good Lord gave me and let it all fall where it may. So, I find myself perplexed that on Christmas Eve, after losing over 30 lbs in 2013, something came over me and I still felt the need to give them Spanx a whirl. I use “whirl” literally. You see, as I started the process by which I hoist the Spanx over my “target area” I damn near landed in the hospital.  With only one leg in the Spanx, I “balanced” there like a drunken sailor on violent surging seas. I was rendered helpless.  I couldn’t stop it.  I “whirled” around, crashed into my jewelry cabinet, launching my faux…